Friday, December 7, 2012

I'm going to first start of by introducing and giving a brief summary of my walk and truth. Newly single mother of three children under the age of 6, working full time and in nursing school. Hench that I continue to say newly single mother, I was with my children's father for 8 years, married to him for 2.5 before I couldn't handle it any longer. I am a walking, living survivor of domestic violence, verbally and physically. Endured 5 too long years of verbal abuse that progressively turned physical within months, not knowing when it was going to go too far. I sit back now and think of how foolish I was thinking that every fight, punch, or slap would be the last time, and then it happened right back again. I was manipulated into thinking it was my fault that I would sometimes begin to ask myself the question of what am I doing wrong that he continues to do this to me, started not feeling pretty enough because it was always woman after woman with him. I sometimes would look at my babies and would dream of that perfect life for them, the life where their mother and father was so in love and we were all happy just being together, then reality would hit me, literally, knowing that dream was a long leap unless if I removed myself and them from this situation.
         As woman we are born with the ability to always want to make things better, fix things, even if it took from us, we always put others before us especially when we become mothers, I was putting the dream of having a family unit before my safety, health, and stability. One day I woke up and told myself I couldn't do this any more, I couldn't be that weak vulnerable little girl who took everything that was thrown at her, literally and figuratively. I just couldn't handle it anymore, either I had to go or he had to go, and the answer was him. I have kept that momentum and have not looked back since, filed for divorce and slowly picked the pieces to my life back up to glue it back together, polish it, and place it up for display for other women who are or was in the same predicament as myself. I am here to tell you it can be done, that man or the demon cannot/will not have power over your destiny only if you allow it. It's not easy but it is possible, you are a precious gem that was placed here to do great and wonderful things, and being a coward's punching bag is not one of them.  

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